Saturday, May 5, 2018
Practice Makes Perfect Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWc8H_pAwOY
Watch this video about question 2, rhetorical analysis. Then, set a timer and respond to the prompt in a fully developed essay.
You will find the prompt here. You need to scroll all the way to page 10.
So, after fully developing a rhetorical analysis, it is time to comment on the responses of your classmates. Choose 2 students. Read their responses, constructively criticize their work and give them a score from 1-9.
Engage in this process. Make sure you watch the video and stay with me! What happens in the last few weeks can be the difference in passing and not passing the exam. You can do this.
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In Florence Kelley’s speech about harsh working conditions for children she uses many rhetorical strategies in hopes to vote against it. She firstly establishes her authority by stating that she, like many others, will be dead asleep in her bed tonight. Yet, somewhere else children will be working eleven hour nights making the clothes and attire on her body. By doing this, she is able to draw a little emotion from the reader(especially at the time in history) to feel sympathy for these kids battling to make a life. Soon after, Kelley brings logos into her argument. She talks about how people should rather have other men and women make theIr everyday necessities, not watch evil men and women take advantage of children to make the necessities. She puts a out the fact that everyone knows this situation is wrong but they still pay low interest because it hardly applies to them. Her next rhetorical tool used is when she says that we do not want this for the future. This speech takes place in a time of the building of a great country, Florence realizes this. By interacting with the readers pathos she is further able to succeed in building her argument. She helps influence the renewal of laws to child freedom. By seeking true justice and using rhetorical tools such as building her authority, touching the feelings of the reader, and being logical she can build her argument.
ReplyDeleteNot going to lie I feel as though this was pretty difficult to write a rhetorical analysis about in forty minutes, it was good practice.
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DeleteNick, while I do think you did a great job of picking out some prevalent strategies within Kelley’s work and connecting the speaker with the audience, I think you definitely could have elaborated on them a bit more. In addition, I think you could have provided a better thesis statement and introduction that more effectively states her argument and the strategies used. I think that the video did a really good job of addressing that and how by not stating the strategies at the beginning, the reader may have difficulty picking out the exact strategies to which you refer. However, I will say, if you build on what you have here, I think you have the potential to score really well on this essay!
4
DeleteI feel that your analysis, while effective, was rather basic and could have used some expansion. I definitely think that your piece could have had a better introduction. You dove in rather quickly, which I think makes it harder for the information to sink in on the part of the reader. Warming the reader up does wonders for comprehension. But it would appear that you were pressed for time, and your analysis has some pretty good bones that just need some more substance.
During the early 1900s, many, specifically women, began to fight for reform in a variety of institutions. One particular woman, Florence Kelley, played an active role in this reform. In her speech at the National Woman Suffrage Association to an audience of primarily women, Kelley delivered a passionate against the child labor system and for the use of the right to petition, primarily through collectivizing the audience, repeating an emotional statement, and using rhetorical questions.
ReplyDeleteBy unifying her audience as a collective “we,” Kelley successfully advances her argument. Beginning in line 63, Kelly states that “we shall none of us be able to free our consciences from participation in this great evil ... The children make our shoes ... our stockings ... and knitted underwear.” By using words such as “we” and “our,” and explaining the predicament of these children, she is successful in bringing her audience together as one whole; it served as a unifying force for the movement. Such a strategy connects the audience with the speaker’s mindset, which was necessary during a period that demanded self-empowerment.
In addition to unifying her audience as a whole around her message, she also repeats herself frequently to deliver this message. Beginning at line 18 and continuing halfway through the speech, Kelley explains a situation children may face while working “while we sleep.” This specific example almost imposes upon the women present a certain level of complicity in the situation. Instead of taking action to alleviate the pain of the young, they are sleeping comfortably. This level of comfort, Kelley implies, is complicity, which cannot be present in such a movement. Through this use of repetition, then, Kelley calls out her audience and urges them to take a stand, a powerful appeal to empathy and compassion.
And, finally, Kelley also effectively uses rhetorical questions to motivate her audience and reveal to them an important aspect of the movement. She first asks, from lines 55 to 58, whether or not Georgia’s legislature would have refused an important reform of later had women and teachers been able to vote. She asks a similar question of the legislature in New Jersey. The answer to these questions would have been a resounding “NO!”, prompting the women present to ponder over the difference they had the ability to make. In context, in a time when women felt disenfranchised and desired equal rights, these questions served as a perfect way to build upon er credibility and appeal to the sentiments present in the hearts of many at the time.
The rhetorical strategies present within Florence Kelley’s speech were effective in mobilizing her audience in the fight for equal rights and the reformation of labor laws. Through the evident passion and ability to convey this passion, Kelley played a major role in a movement that promoted equal rights for more than just a few males.
8-ish
DeleteIsaac, I thought that your analysis was quite nice. Your introduction did a good job of warming me up as the reader, effectively picking up on the kairos. You also did a fantastic job in recognizing the important parts of rhetoric, including her passion (pathos), unity with her audience (ethos), and the societal and governmental happenings of the time (logos). You also did well in identifying the key aspects of her rhetorical strategy, including her extensive use of rhetorical questions. Great work!
7
DeleteIsaac, I thought you did a good job with your analysis, presenting some good information. I do feel it could have been much better. Particularly your second paragraph. You used a quote from the text, I do not think you need to reference the specific line the quote is on. You could have devoted that section to prefacing the quote, or to further explaining why the quote is of importance. Overall, these are relatively minor issues in an otherwise great analysis.
At the dawn of the twentieth century, women were making great advances in society and were often found working hard to end practices such as male-exclusive voting and child labor. Florence Kelley, a famous women’s rights activist, advocated for the end of the former practice, particularly for young women and girls. In her 1905 speech at a convention held by the National American Woman Suffrage Association, Kelley expressed her concern for the working woman and child with great rhetorical skill.
ReplyDeleteKelley establishes her ethos well throughout the entirety of the speech. She uses the pronoun “we” quite often, which says to the audience that Kelley identifies with them and that the issues she is about to discuss pertain equally to herself and the audience, and all of society, for that matter. Kelley shows this most effectively from lines 65 to 77, in which Kelley describes all of the goods made by child laborers that are likely a part of everyday life for herself and most everyone in the audience, including clothing, jewelry, and decorations.
Kelley uses much logic to draw her audience in on her point that child labor is unacceptable. She uses statistics that both show that she is very familiar with the matter at hand and back up her overlying claim that child labor is unfair. Kelley opens her speech with alarming age statistics for children in the workplace. She also points out that, while the number of young people in the workplace is increasing across the board, no other demographic is experiencing such a boom as the teenaged girl, a fact that is particularly pertinent to the audience at the convention. She expands upon this by adding how the demographics and working conditions vary from state to state. Kelley focuses heavily on the conditions found in southern states at first, but soon shifts to conditions found in Pennsylvania, the state in which the convention is held, and nearby New Jersey, which adds a level of familiarity for the audience and shows that no state is much better than another when it comes to child labor. Her statistics and descriptions also appear to tug on the heartstrings of the audience, especially when Kelley brings up the Pennsylvania law in which girls as young as thirteen can leave home to work in mills. She particularly tries the emotions of her audience in lines 50 and 51, in which she describes the girls carrying their midnight lunch pails “as happier people carry their midday luncheon,” which implies that the girls are deprived of a quality of life by working a twelve-hour graveyard shift.
All in all, Florence Kelley exhibits great skill as a rhetor. Her aim is to make people aware of the travesty that is child labor, which she does very well. Kelley’s claims are backed up well by statistical evidence, and she goes about the speech in a manner that shows that child labor affects everyone. Her speech was meant to be impactful, and it is just that, as she uses just enough pathos to stir the emotions of her audience. Her skill as a rhetor makes her truly one of the great pioneering women’s rights activists.
6
DeleteJarret, you did a great analysis on this speech. I gave you this because you described many different rhetorical strategies and you also referenced the text at the beginning. Your conclusion was really good and it summed up everything you talked about.
Women had very little rights during the 1900s. Florence Kelley, who was a social worker and reformer, focused on improving working conditions for both women and children. In order to help fight for new rights, Kelley made a petition and read it at the National American Women Suffrage Association in 1905. The message she delivered to the audience changed and created labor laws.
ReplyDeleteRight from the beginning, it is very noticeable that the word “we” is used very often. Kelley writes this particular way in order to make the audience realize that what she is saying includes every single person listening. By saying “we have, in this country,” Florence is referring to the citizens of the United States. She began using statistics right away in order to start off her speech very boldly. She wanted to draw in the audiences attention right away. By using the word “we,” the audience becomes connected to one another because everyone needs to be treated the same way no matter what gender or age.
Next, Florence Kelley uses many epistrophes. When “men increase, women increase, youth increase, boys increase” is said, the main goal is to help the audience hear the word “increase.” By the audience hearing this word, it draws their attention even more because it allows them to process that what is increasing should not be increasing in all areas, such as the youth. This is another example as to why labor laws needed to be created during the early 1900s. Also, in order to make her speech very strong, Florence uses many rhetorical questions. Such as, “If the mothers and the teachers in Georgia could vote, would the Georgia Legislature have refused at every session for the last three years to stop the work in the mills of children under twelve years of age?” which can be found in lines fifty-five through fifty-eight. By using rhetorical questions, this helps persuade the audience into seeing her perspective on why there needs to be labor laws.
Over, Florence Kelley did a great job writing her speech. She included many aspects that help convince an audience as to why something needs to be changed. She focused on drilling the audience with things that they did not necessarily want to hear. However, she was such able to finish her speech with power in order to persuade the audience. It is very important to have such a strong speech filled with proper language in order to achieve whatever the goal may be, in this case, creating labor laws.
5
DeleteBethany, I think you did a well-enough job explaining some of the rhetorical strategies that Kelley used; however, there were a few times while reading that I was left confused. For example, in your second paragraph, you begin by talking about the use of the word “we” and its effect on the audience, but you then jump into something about a statistic with very little detail, transistion, and connection to the main point of the paragraph.
Also, be sure to fully explain yourself. At the end of your third paragraph, you speak of Kelley’s use of rhetorical questions, but you don’t follow it up with a detailed explanation of the impact it had on the audience,
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of the 1900s, women were defying expectations and taking a stand, getting involved in fighting for rights in equality in multiple areas, including women’s rights, voting, and child labor laws. Florence Kelley, who was a women’s rights activist, gave a briefing to an audience that was mostly filled with fellow females. She gave this speech at the convention of National American Woman Suffrage Association, advocating for child labor laws to be changed, allowing children to work a lot less than what they did at the time.
ReplyDeleteKelley establishes ethos from the beginning of the address, bringing forth statistics such as “two million children under the age of sixteen years who are earning their bread. They vary in age from six and seven years
Line (in the cotton mills of Georgia) and eight, nine and 5 ten years (in the coal-breakers of Pennsylvania), to fourteen, fifteen and sixteen years in more enlightened states.” and “No other portion of the wage earning class increased so rapidly from decade to decade as the 10 young girls from fourteen to twenty years” Along with bringing these statistics into the minds of the readers, we she attends to react out and connect herself to the audience by repeated the word “we”. The kairos of this speech is impeccable. At a time equality within the rights of humans was not significantly valued, she gives the audience a wake up call and informs them of how bad it truly is.
In the speech, she keeps stating the line “while we sleep”, sharing how unacceptable it is for children to work within these conditions, along with the amount of hours spent working. Kelley combines a mixture of pathos, ethos and logos, pulling at the heart strings of listeners and trying to convince their mind, ethos to keep her authority maintained and repeating herself think, helping her develop a tone and style, and logos because the way she presents her argument is very informative and easy to understand, while at the same time still remaining firm in her opinion. Doing this helps her unify her audience even further as well remain firm in her argument.
Another tactic used by Kelley was rhetorical questions, which not only calls into question her own personal evaluation of the question, but actually forces the members in the audience to ponder their own stance on the topic she is discussing. She asks “Would the New Jersey Legislature have passed that 60 shameful repeal bill enabling girls of fourteen years to work all night, if the mothers in New Jersey were enfranchised?” Her use of rhetorical questions was very effective and really solidified her argument.
Overall, Kelley exemplified many rhetorical strategies within her speech, which causing her to become even more effective. She is trying to convince others that child labor is incorrect, making them aware of what really happens. Combining emotion, logic, and authority, along with tremendous timing, Kelley delivers a wonderful speech packed full of powerful sentences and rhetorical devices.
7
DeleteErick, I gave you this score because you referenced the text a few times and also found multiple rhetorical strategies. The only thing I would changed would be the first sentence of your conclusion. Maybe try starting your conclusion with something other than overall. Other than that it was good!
Long hours, minimal safety, and hard work that pays little surrounds the life of a child in 1905. Few states have proper laws and restrictions for the young children who are faced with possible injur every night. Florence Kelley calls attention to these wrongdoings and offers a plan to change it all.
ReplyDeleteChildren who are “earning their bread” vary from the ages of six to sixteen, and Kelley assures the audience that their are two millon children from this age range. The census continues to change and grow, but the laws never change. Kelley explains the hard and strenous work of girls during the night while men and women sleep. Alabama does have restrictions on this child labor, but it does not change the fact that young children are working the long nights.
Alabama seems to be the only state that upholds the laws and shoudl be recognized for it. Kelley calls out South Carolina and Georgia, other southern states, for their lack of law for the hard work of children. Yet, it is not just the south who participates in these unjust actions, New Jersey blessed the women and children to stop workig at six, while the young boys had to take the long nights. The age of the children shows how little power and say that the children have, but they must do their work as the state says.
Kelley shares a true-to-life story of the passing of a child going to work as adults head home. The little girl does not know how long she wil be at work, and all the hours of the night is legal. Kelley uses this story to offer a way out of these wrong doings. Kelley exclaims, “ we shall none of us be able to free our consciences from participation in this great evil.” She accepts the guilt and expands it to her audience to encourage change. The young children are respondible for the clothing of every adult in the room, and the hours put into them are unimaginable.
Kelley concludes her call to help with a way to end the suffering. Voting enables a voice to people who want to be heard. Mothers are the force that can change the hardships of their children. Their votes could change the law and bring them a piece of mind. “For the sake of the children,” Kelley exclaims in passion to create the guilt of the audience ends her battle cry to relieve children of their unethical work.
6
DeleteYour introduction in written very well. You also included many great quotes such as, “earning their bread.” Great job explaining this quote and the other quotes you used. I think overall that this is a very good essay. Great work!
5-6(?)
DeleteI have to agree with Bethany; your opening is very well written. It really captures, in a bit of a narrative way, the subject of the piece. It really gives you a sense of what it’s all about while capturing the tone and the subject matter. I think that my greatest issue with this is that it comes terribly close to one of his examples of the “should nots”. In the video, the guy narrating/explaining said to avoid summarizing whatever the piece may be, and in this case, I would say this is pretty much a summary (though it is a very well written and tasteful summary). I think a greater focus on the rhetoric of Florence Kelley’s speech would do you better. Still, it was a very good job.
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DeleteI also agree. In the video we watched, another one of the “should nots” was to enter the argument. Although it has great context and is organized very well, you should have talked more about how she used the rhetorical devices that she used and not so much of the actual context of the speech.
Florence Kelly was a United States social worker. She fought mainly for improving the horrible reality of child labor. Although I am not well versed on the subject, just from Kelly’s speech I was able to strongly sway to her side. She is extremely talented in rhetoric.
ReplyDeleteKelly wastes no time in her argument. She immediately begins with establishing ethos. Rather than going the traditional route and showing her accomplishments, she chooses a more powerful form of ethos. She starts off by addressing the audience as “we.” This is very important, as it shows the audience that Kelly is just another one of them. This is also important for the fact that it supports the main argument of her piece, that it is about the kids and nothing else. She draws no attention to herself and instead puts it all into the kids. Kelly also establishes pathos through the use of “we.” It can be seen as a rallying cry of sorts. Pathos is also established through the multiple times she refers to the kids. She really shows how much of a victim they all are. This is similar to how victimized people from third world countries are in the U.S. today. I don’t really think that there is too much logos in her argument, as it really wouldn’t of served her too well here. In my opinion, Kelly really puts the nail in the coffin in her last few paragraphs. She wraps it all up in a big package of pathos, but she is sure to add in fresh ideas. She points out what they could do to help, making sure to use “we.” She treats it as an epidemic plaguing her country, which is really what I think made her such a powerful speaker.
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DeleteYou opened your essay with a good introduction just as the video suggests. However, I think you could have added a bit more detail into your body paragraph. It also would have been better if you separated the logos, ethos, and the pathos instead of just having it in one paragraph.
5
DeleteAlthough I enjoyed your analysis, overall, I found it lacking in some areas. Firstly, although it is fine to not know everything on a particular subject, it is generally bad to say you are not well-versed in a subject on an AP Test. Work to the best of your ability to derive information, such as a time period, state of living, or anything related to the topic from the text provided. Secondly, as Bethany said, you would have improved your essay by separating it into paragraphs. Overall, I thought the content was good, and your analysis was well-thought out. It was just lacking organization.
5
DeleteThis is a good analysis. Overall it could use a bit more detail (but I support it) but the introduction was great and I thunk you concluded it very well. Your examples were specific and you backed them up pretty well.
There were many times in America when groups of people did not have the rights that they deserved; African Americans, Native Americans, women, immigrants, and, though less discussed, children. Florence Kelley was an advocate for these children in a time when they needed someone to fight for them.
ReplyDeleteFlorence Kelley’s different achievements give her a strong sense of credibility. Not only had she devoted her entire life to the cause of women’s suffrage and children’s rights, but she was speaking at the National American Woman Suffrage Association convention. Her first sentence leaves the audience in awe as she reveals a startling statistic about America’s youth. Throughout her speech, she continues to use this strategy; if someone was not listening before, they did after that. While the time back then was obviously a different society than there is now, the revelation of these facts makes people think, “How does this make sense?” In this piece, Kelley is unafraid to allow her personal experiences to impact her deliverance, which gives it a tone of shock as to how the mentioned situations continue to occur. She often references mothers in this speech because of what mothers represent. Mothers instinctually protect their children at all costs; with them being treated so poorly, who is failing the children of America? Is it the government, parents, everyone? Regardless, people want to help. When she mentions near the end that women would vote to help the children, she uses the primary purpose that people attended the convention for to spark emotion inside of them. Also, the setting is an important thing to keep in mind. This is a convention held by the National American Woman Suffrage Association. The women who are attending are tired of being steamrolled and ignored; they are there to fight for equality. An audience’s mindset can make all the difference in the perception of a speech or performance. Kelley used the audience’s predisposed ideals to her advantage and used them to her advantage.
Kelley quite intelligently includes a call to action at the end of her speech. By doing this, she leaves a lasting impression and brings people back into the central idea of her presentation. Her inclusion of all of these elements creates a meaningful speech that from a person with a great understanding of progress in America.
5
DeleteAlthough you had many great details of the speech, I think the details of the rhetorical strategies were missing; and that’s the biggest part of this essay.
In Florence Kelley’s speech, she speaks to of the true horrors of child labor. Florence successfully employs all three factors of the rhetorical triangle, logos, ethos, and pathos very well. She uses the example of his own belongings being made by children to evoke feelings and emotions from the readers. She brings up the contradictions between many state laws, between Alabama and Georgia, and many others. This points out the clear discrepancies in state policy and perhaps the necessity for federal laws regulating the matter. It could also bring blame and shame upon the states, pushing them to change. She also employs some information that borders on guilt tripping, but it develops a strong sense of pathos. Florence develops her argument further speaking of the implications of child labor, which makes people realize the magnitude of the problem. Overall, Florence Kelley develops her argument through ethos, pathos, and logos and a stringent examination of state laws. Her contributions have done a world of good for this nation.
ReplyDelete2
DeleteYou have some okay points from the speech but you do not specify the rhetorical strategies long with not providing enough support for each stratigy.
Throughout Kelley’s speech, there are many different ways that she tries to appeal to her audience. She uses Logos by stating statistics about children in the work force. By doing this, the audience understands what is truly happening all around the country. In her opening statement, she says that there are two million children from six years old to sixteen who are earning their own money and supporting themselves financially. By stating this, the audience will understand that this is not right and that they are too young to work eight hours or more a day.
ReplyDeleteShe uses Pathos by telling the audience how their clothing is made by children sixteen and under, working in factories for anywhere from eight to eleven hours a night. “Tonight while we sleep, several thousand little girls will be working in textile mills, all the night through, in the deafening noise of the spindles and the looms spinning and weaving cotton and wool, silks and ribbons for us to buy.” By saying this, the audience will feel some sense of guilt for not doing anything about what these children are going through and feel sorrow for them because they have to go through it, which will change their points of view on the topic.
She uses ethos without even saying anything, the fact that she was a reformer who improved conditions for working women and fought for child labor laws was enough. For the audience to know this was very effective, they knew that Kelley was a reliable source and that she is a good voice to hear from. If the speaker was just a random person who had no status on the matter, the audience most likely would not have thought of the speech to be as reliable as it was with Kelley as the speaker. Kelley had a name for herself within the community she was speaking to, therefore it made her more believable and influential to her audience.
6
DeleteYou covered the basics with logos, pathos, and ethos, and elaborated on them pretty well, however I felt you could have included more components of rhetoric into your analysis.
5/6
DeleteYou did a very good job on your logos pathos and ethos, however as Erick said, you could have done more. An introduction and conclusion would be a good addition as well. All in all I would say you did a good job.
6
DeleteIt was very clear in your essay how Florence used her pathos, logos, and ethos with specific references from the text. Also, it was good to state how these affected the audience.
As women’s reformation came about, arguments and speeches came at every turn. Florence Kelley commemorated her speech at the National American Woman Suffrage Association in 1905 to voice her own opinion. This speech showed great concern for women and children who worked day in and day out in factories, mines, and other shops for such long periods of time. They all wanted change. Kelley used great rhetorical strategies to defend her side the fight and did so successfully. Throughout the entire speech, ethos was a large part of the argument. She used words such as “we” and “our” many times to collectively put all Americans together in the fight. By describing a couple of states and telling what their regulations are on child labor, shows to the people that Kelley did background research and knows what she is fighting for. Kelley also used pathos as a large consumer. She made the audience feel as if these children working hard hours, were everyone’s children. Her constructive adjectives that described the terrible working conditions for these poor, innocent children catches the audience’s attention. People fall for the deep details of children so small they can’t reach a table or children working 12 hour shifts everyday. Emotions are at large here for the audience because of these gory scenes of labor. Lastly, her logic. Who in their right mind would push young kids to work at harsh conditions for long hours? Now a days, there is no such thing. People have come to their senses and realized the dangers of child labor which was caused by this movement. It was very ideal for Kelley to put together this speech and address it at a suffrage association convention. Many people gather at those conventions which gave Florence a large audience of people ready for the movement. The large quantities of people allow groups to made, giving more power to the people by having more backup for their voices. As the fellow communities got together in alliance with the reformation, more and more progress came about. These great rhetorical strategies gave way to the future of child labor laws.
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DeleteI feel like you did a good job pointing out the rhetorical strategies used by Kelley, however I think you got off on a bit of a tangent referencing what goes on in today’s world.
In 1905, Florence Kelley addressed the issue of children in the workplace. She used her thoughtful and strategic writing skills to pose an effective argument against this type of child endangerment. Through her skills she was able to continue the work of the National American Woman Suffrage Association.
ReplyDeleteKelley opened her entire argument using a few statistics. She starts by saying how two million children under sixteen are forced to work. She continues this paragraph by talking about the different ages that are forced to earn a living for their families. She continues using these disturbing pieces of information by discussing the different state rules on child laborers. For example, in our own state of Pennsylvania girls under thirteen could work twelve hours at night. Most states were not much better than this example, which she continued to use as evidence to explain how terribly we were treating our own future generation.
Another one of the major strategies Kelley used to emphasize her argument is repetition. Through many of her points she explains a situation where a child is forced in the workplace, ending each sentence with, “while we sleep.” This can hopefully make readers feel somewhat guilty about doing nothing for these helpless children. She wants the everyday person to realize that while they, as adults, are sleeping soundly in their bed, there are children slaving away in factories and mills and mines with their little lives at risk.
Towards the end of the essay our author questions the audience to get their mental wheels turning. She asks her audience, “what can we do to free our consciences?” She continues by explaining exactly what we can do. She explains, in order to relive our minds of what we are doing to the kids, the only thing to do is step up. We need to free our own kids from the work we were forcing them to do. Our parents of the future generation needs to step up and take the jobs, so our kids can be kids until they are really ready to take on the responsibility of the workplace.
Florence Kelley said that our job was to “free the children from toil.” Throughout her writing, she used effective strategies to show her readers what they were doing to children. Her devices showed what kind of a writer she was, one with a powerful purpose and strong delivery.
5
DeleteI don’t think it was bad, but I don’t think it was anything special. It was a bit repetitive and reiterated the original piece a little too much.
6
DeleteMadison I would say yours is pretty special. You open up with an informative introduction which is great. Each of your examples have great detail in them and I can tell you worked hard on this. I also love the conclusion. I think it really brought together your essay. Great job!
On July 22, 1905 in Philadelphia Florence Kelley delivered a well formed speech in hopes to help laboring children throughout America. The kids Kelley was so eager to help were working late nights in bad conditions and at very young ages. Kelley draws her listeners in with her passion for the subject and makes them feel the weight of the situation.
ReplyDeleteKelley is very knowledgeable about the happening of the time (logos). She is very well prepared which helps establish her credibility making the audience want to listen to what she has to say about these young children. Kelley throughput the entire speech makes the audience become involved with the situation. She doesn’t give them a choice but using words such as “we” she creates a link between herself and the audience. This makes them feel like they are involved with the fight to liberate these children from their struggles at work (ethos). By doing this her audience is completely stuck, They now hang on her every word wanting to be a part of the ongoing fight for the children’s rights. Kelley also is extremely passionate about the subject, you would have to be for something like this. In order to make the change she is working so hard for she needs to show her listeners that she is in it for the long run. Through her passion her listeners start to feel the pain she feels for the children and the pain they themselves feel while working in terrible circumstances (pathos).
Through her rhetorical strategies Kelley is able to make an effective argument. By doing so she collects more supporters for her cause to help the young children of America who she tells the audience are our future and will soon be the ones voting for America.
6
DeleteI would’ve liked an example or two. Also, you did a good job of explaining pathos, ethos, and logos, but it got a little mixed up. To prevent this, you don’t really need to state them as long as you allude to them.
5
DeleteIt wasn’t bad, but I feel that you could improve it. With a few more examples and organization this piece has the potential for a better score.
5/6
Deletei really like your introduction because it sets up the scence and clearly states your thesis. Also, I think your explanation of how the audience is actively involed in the speech is important in her rhetoric. I agree that an example would help, but you clearly understand how Florence persuaded the audience.
The early 1900s were a time of struggle. Children were forced to work in order to supplement what little income their parents could bring in, oftentimes being paid pennies for a full day of work. This was a time before labor unions and government-aided worker’s reform. Business owners could operate how they saw fit. Eventually, the laborers decided that it was time to change. The voice at the roots of many labor parties and worker’s unions was Florence Kelly. Kelly delivered a particularly powerful address at the convention of the National American Woman Suffrage Association in Philadelphia, urging those present to change labor laws regarding women and children for the better.
ReplyDeleteKelly begins her speech with a very simple message – While adults sleep, children work. This message, when backed up by her evidence of the working laws of many states, becomes a shocking appeal to pathos. This appeal can effectively draw pathos from almost anyone, as everyone knows the struggle and danger involved in this type of work, and her statements highlight that a factory is no place for a child.
Later on in the speech, Kelly further connects herself to the audience. She begins to refer to people as a collective “we.” She talks about “our” children and how “we” cannot stand idly by while children are in danger. By including herself, she can become much more relatable in the eyes of the audience. She has removed herself from being above everyone, she has connected herself to them.
During her final lines, Kelly gives the audience a call to action She, in essence, tells the audience that they can no longer tolerate being idle. They must demand, for the sake of the children, that stricter working regulation be put in place. She again evokes an emotional response in the audience, as she mentions the plight of the children. She then concludes with a powerful statement – saying that they all must free the children from their toil. Again, Kelly appeals to ethos in her final line.
Kelly’s speech was ultimately successful, and many states changed their regulations on working as a result of her passionate speech. She, through her words, brought about real change.
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DeleteI think you did a good job of using your language to get your point across. All of your sentences sounded very intelligent. Although, I think you analyzed the passage well, i think you could do a better job of defining which rhetorical devices she was using. Maybe in your thesis and then agin when you address it later. Great job!
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DeleteYou did a great job of giving the evidence and history behind her argument! I think you may have a little bit of room for improvement by explaining what rhetorical tools she used however, good job.
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ReplyDeleteIn the battle for decent working laws and woman’s suffrage, many amazing and selfless woman arose to fight for what they believed in. Florence Kelley, one of these remarkable women, used rhetorical questions, emotional language, and factual imagery to persuade the woman of America to stand with her in this battle for equality,
ReplyDeleteIn line 55 we see an example of Kelley using the rhetorical question. When she poses the question about the mothers and teachers voting, she is showing how both of the improvisations she is trying to accomplish. She states that because the woman is powerless in this matter, the children are working too much. By making these woman aware of their powerlessness, she is empowering them to battle for their basic rights.
Kelley uses many different examples of the emotional ties that this subject contains. In paragraph three she states that while everyone is sleeping, the children are working, to make products for them. By using emotional language she establishes pathos. The pathos of any argument is extremely influential in any decision-making process. Emotions drive a person to fight for what they believe. So by appealing to the emotions of these women, she has a much better chance of them supporting this struggle.
To establish her pathos, Kelley uses many facts. From the beginning to the end of this speech she uses facts to establish her argument. She starts off her lecture by stating statics about the high level of child labor in America. These incredible facts not only established pathos but also ethos. By knowing and delivering these facts in her presentation, she shows that she is serious about this subject and that the rest of the woman should be.
Florence Kelley effectively used rhetorical questions, emotional language, and facts to rally up the woman of America to fight for their own rights. In using these rhetorical devises, Kelley was able to become a successful figure in the woman’s suffrage movement.
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DeleteYou did a very good job at using many examples of rhetorical strategies. It definitely showed that you know your stuff. Good job
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DeleteYour analysis was very well done. You did great really picking the piece apart to show their work.
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DeleteThis is a great analysis. You have a very strong introduction and really worked hard on this. Your examples also have so much detail to back them up which is great! Nice job
Florence Kelley is an amazing rhetor. In this passage, she talked mainly about the youth working and the conditions that they were working in. She goes through the many states of the United States and tells the audience what the minimum age is to work. This is her way of using logos to bring out many laws and factual information about each state and its laws. Her tone is more informative at the beginning and, as the passage continues on, she starts to get into what she is talk about. She uses many rhetorical strategies to get her point across that there needs to be a change in the laws. By the end of the speech, Kelley is angry. Around line 18, Kelley begins to appeal to pathos by talking about young girls working at night while everyone else would be sleeping. She also uses epistrophe by ending each phrase within a sentence word increase.
ReplyDeleteAfter that small paragraph, Kelley continues to talk about the law concerning the workforce in some of the states and how ridiculously horrible they are for the young children, especially the girls. This is how Kelley uses her ethos. Florence Kelley also uses many exclamatory sentences that establish her ethos and get her point across. She is speaking at a women’s convention in front of many women who possibly have children who could be going through this horrible work environment. At the fifty-fifth line in the passage, Kelley begins to use many rhetorical questions. This mainly establishes ethos and pathos. She asks questions about the mothers wanting to stand up for their children. Kelley also poses the question that if the mothers were to try to talk with the government, would they be able to stop this child labor.
Throughout the speech, Florence Kelley uses many rhetorical strategies to help the organize her speech. Her speech was extremely effective because she challenged the labor force and helped create new labor laws. At the end of the speech, Kelley tried to fix the situation by offering other ways for the children to not have to work. She sent the audience off with the excitement to try and recruit others to join the movement. I think this excitement and sense of urgency that Florence had at the end of the speech brought everything together and made everyone want to help the children.
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DeleteIt is by no means bad. It is a bit difficult to follow, but I could see that being attributed to the time restraints. I have a bit of trouble seeing the difference between ideas presented in the first and second paragraphs. I think breaking it up more could have been helpful in maintaining a better flow. Your last paragraph feels a bit like a summary, which is something he warned against in the video. Still, I don’t thing there is anything terribly wrong with it. Nice effort.
The marginalized find a voice in the advocate. On July 22, 1905, Florence Kelley, an advocate for both working women and children, delivered a speech to the National American Woman Suffrage Association in Philadelphia. In her address, Kelley advocated specifically for the rights of young girls enduring inhumane working conditions. Her poignant and pointed speech remains compelling to those who receive it today through her usage of various rhetorical strategies including repetition and inclusive language such as that seen in cases of forced teaming.
ReplyDeleteKelley utilizes repetition as a means of convincing her audience to take her side. She uses this strategy many times. In her third paragraph she says “[t]onight while we sleep,” followed by “all the night through”. In the following paragraph, Kelley continues by introducing her next statement with “while we sleep...”. She proceeds in this way in the next paragraph as well where she says, “tonight, while we sleep”. This persistent repetition is not out of a lack of words; she uses these phrases repeatedly as a strategy meant to enforce an idea or image into the mind of her audience. Kelley uses these redundant phrases to accentuate her argument and to maintain the relevance of her point. It also helps to support her point emotionally—an argument centered around the wellbeing of children is bound, or more accurately expected, to be riddled with such an appeal. This redundancy or repetition is effective when used in such a masterful way.
Kelley uses inclusive language to join her point to her audience and carefully allocate responsibility. The first word used in the entire address is “we”. This is more than coincidence—with this initial word, Kelley manages to strike the perfect balance by making the audience partially responsible without holding them entirely accountable for the wrongdoings she is about to discuss. She joins herself and her argument to her audience many times throughout the course of the speech through the usage of this word. Even in her repetitive statement, “tonight, while we sleep,” she managed to distribute the blame accordingly by using forced teaming. When she lists all the ways in which the women of the audience contribute to this culture of marginalization, she implies this same distribution. Despite her apparent and perpetual connection between audience and liability, she manages to avoid all scorn from her audience by also connecting them to the solution through a sort of commission. She makes apparent not only her own goodwill but also that fo the audience when she says, “We do not wish this. We prefer to have our work done by men and women... What can we do to free our consciences?”. Kelley uses this appeal to its fullest extent throughout her speech by way of a sort of constant vigilance to the tone, subject, and nature of the piece.
Florence Kelley uses the rhetorical strategies to their fullest in her speech to the National American Woman Suffrage Association. Her specific attention to effective language is apparent in her usage of strategies such as repetition and forced teaming. It all serves to strike a balance perfectly fitting a subject deserving both pity and action from the righteous.
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DeleteYou did a good job with your Sentence structure and language. I think you could cut out some of the stuff about her and where she gave the speech, they talked a little about that in the video. I think the two rhitorical devices you anazized were great but it would probably benefit you to do three.
Florence Kelley was a hard fought suffragist during the early 1900s. She was fearless, resilient, and compelling in her speech for the National American Women’s Suffrage Association in Philadelphia on July 22, 1905. There is so much strategy behind Kelley’s speech. She uses strong statistics, passion and emotional language, rhetorical questions, and a stern tone to bring about her argument.
ReplyDeleteFlorence Kelley kicks off her speech by spitting out an assortment of facts. Through this she proves her credibility as a speaker and draws her audience in. She gives specific references about young children in respect to working and earning money. She come back with another fact that young girls wages have increased more than any other class of workers. She drives the point home that women deserve more.
Kelley uses so much passion throughout her argument. In her third paragraph specifically she uses imagery to show the treachery young child endure when they are forced to work days and nights on end. She also compares all of the people at the conference to the little girls and boys that work countless hours. Kelley tries to show that they do not have it so bad, and they should take a step back and look what they are doing to these poor children. The adults get to sleep while the children work throughout the whole night. What kind of treatment is that? Florence Kelley is passionate about fighting for a cut back on child labor.
Towards the end of her argument, Florence Kelley uses a series of rhetorical questions. These rhetorical questions solidify her argument by making the audience think. They truly start to realize the chaos they are bringing upon these children. Kelley rounds out her argument with a strong tone that would make most audiences want to spring into action. She uses emotion along with the word “we” to show that they are all united in this fight for women’s rights and children’s rights. She calls the audience to action with her final words which brings her argument together as a whole.
Florence Kelley was very strategical in developing her argument. She organized each part precisely and perfectly. Kelley starts with the facts, uses emotion and specific real world examples, and ends with a bang. The audience should have been chomping at the bit to fight for the children who suffer the terrible working conditions
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DeleteI like how you used many examples from the text to explain how she used her ethos, pathos and logos. Each rhetorical device was separated greatly throughout each paragraph and the reader could easily see the distinction between each of them. You also used your own rhetorical devices by using rhetorical questions which really shows off your own language skills. The only thing I see that you could do to get a higher score is if you added more detail, even though you have plenty as it is.
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DeleteI think you did a great job explaining how she developed her authority throughout the argument. I also think it was effective that you spoke of how she kept the audience on edge or chomping at the bit.
Child labor was deeply unregulated during the early 20th century, allowing for young children, even under the age of 13, to work 12 hours at night. What laws there were had nearly no effect on the children working in these factories, Flotence Kelly fought against these evils taking place in America. In her speech addressing the issues associated with child labor at the National Women Suffrage Association, Kelly’s speech can be characterized by several rhetorical devices she uses to reveal the injustices children endure and why something must be done.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the most apparent use of rhetoric occurs with her use of repetition, the facts and the logic are on Kelly’s side, it is only a matter of instilling it within her audience, which she does as she states how a “girl may work eleven hours by day or by night,” “working all night long,” “work at the mill from six at night until six in the morning” (30-46). Similarly, Kelly uses inductive reasoning when she states how in Georgia, “there is no restriction whatepsever” on child labor, “ and how “ New Jersey permits working all night long,” “North and Sotuh Carolina place no restriction upon the work of children at night” (45-58). These repetitive statements clearly outline instances of injustice within several states, and impress the importance of the issue. Clearly something must be done to fix the outrageous hours imposed on child laborers.
Kelly also uses rhetorical sentences to force the listener to question him or herself, to question what he or she can really do. Kelly asks “What can we do to free our conscience?” (85). This is key to fully conveying her argument in such a way that creates a lasting impact on the listener of her speech.