Friday, December 15, 2017
Canon Three Choosing a Style
Share with the class the introduction of your paper. In the comments, please identify the exordium, narratio and partitio of your classmates entry. Also, give a critical analysis of their introduction and respond with what interests you about the topic. Questions you might have about it or what you might like to learn if given the chance to read the paper in its entirety.
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Throughout the course of history, the systematic development of language has allowed a way for various groups to communicate among and between themselves. Over time, as language was transformed as a way to achieve cultural, societal, and educational goals, progress was attained, and expression was more clearly defined. However, despite this progress made, which is largely substantiated by historical fact, many have advocated for the use of a Japanese creation, a creation that, if it continues to be considered a way by which one can and should express themselves, will lead to the demise of language and expression itself. This aforementioned creation, known as the emoji (literally, a picture character), was developed in 1998 by a Japanese engineer, Shigetaka Kurita. Kurita, who was inspired by the characters of the Chinese language, as well as international signs used for public restrooms, sought to develop a series of pictographs intended to deliver one clear, universal message to those who received it (Nowak). Although his intentions were well-founded, the emoji has become a rather regressive design, one that has revived the ambiguity of language and emotion, one that has brought about the destruction of critical analysis and self-reflection, but most importantly, one that may lead to the lack of societal maturation in years to come.
ReplyDeleteI very much enjoyed your introduction, but I think that the third sentence should change “will” to “may”. Reading it myself, I just felt that it was slightly dramatic and presumptuous. Other than that, it looks like it’s going to be a great paper!
DeleteYour exordium seems to begin with “Throughout” and continues to “themselves.” From “Over time” to “received it” would be the narratio since you explained the transformation of language throughout history and how the emoji was formed, and lastly, from “Although” to the end of the paragraph would the partitio, where you make your argument on the emoji. I thought each individual part was good, since they were very easy to pick out, and I’m interested to see how your paper goes.
DeleteThe exorcism seems to be the first sentence. The narratio is until the last sentence. The partitio is quite clearly the last sentence to me. This introduction is very well organized. Great job! Should be a great paper.
DeleteYour exordium was your first sentence. The narratio encompassed most of the rest of the paragraph, except for the final sentence, which was the partitio. I really enjoyed how you used absolutes, “will” and “must” instead of “may” and “might.” It seems to be your way of saying, “This is the way it is, any other way will not work.”
DeleteEnglish is a fascinating language. Spoken by almost twenty percent of the world’s population in over thirty countries, English is undoubtedly a global language. By no means, however, does that mean that all English is spoken or heard in a uniform manner. Each of the thirty-plus countries in which one could hear English being spoken has its own unique twist on the language. For instance, one can easily distinguish between English spoken in Great Britain and English spoken in the United States, Australia, South Africa, or Ireland, just to name a few. Moreover, English dialects can vary within the confines of a country; within the borders of the United States, there are scores of variations in dialects and in accents, all under the wing of the same English language. Given this, a thought that may manifest itself, particularly to one trying to learn English as a second language, is whether or not the countries in which English is widely spoken should make an effort to unify the language so as to eliminate these variations in dialect and accent. In theory, doing so would do wonders for the learner. One could imagine that there would be some confusion as to why the word “boot” when spoken in America refers to a shoe, but that very same word in England refers to the trunk of a car. A traveler-abroad may also be taken aback when, during a visit to the southeastern United States, he notices that the English spoken in this region sounds funny compared to the English he knows from exposure to American media. Why has no one made any sort of an effort to try to alleviate this problem? The answer to this question, quite frankly, is that it would be far too difficult to accomplish such a feat, especially given the countless dialects of the English language and the strong sense of pride the speakers of these dialects have in their language. With all this in mind, it is very easy to see that any attempt to eradicate unique accents and dialects would be a complete waste of time and resources and that they ought to be left alone.
ReplyDeleteThe exordium of the introduction seems to begin with “English” and continue until “global language.” From “by no means” until “American media” appears to be the narratio, as you provide a variety of examples regarding the topic that you chose to discuss. And, finally, from “why has no one” until the end of the paragraph appears to be your partitio, as this is where you provide your general argument. In my personal opinion, your exordium could be a bit stronger in gaining the attention of the reader; although with a bit more work, I have no doubt that you will be able to make that change! I felt that your narratio and partitio truly helped me to understand the information that underlies your topic, as well as your central argument. Specifically, I enjoyed your transition from the background information into the thesis, and I look forward to you refuting those who feel that diversity in language should be eradicated.
DeleteGavin Bird once said, “Helping others, without anything in return, is what true self-worth is all about.” Someone who works in any type of medical field knows the importance of helping someone who is in need. As their job, it is understood that despite helping someone, they should not receive something in return because, simply, it is their job to help the less fortunate. In the medical field, effective communication is extremely important in order to keep the patient up to date with a diagnosis, and communication can also affect the patient’s happiness and ability of getting better. In order for all of this to happen, doctors and nurses should be required to have better bedside manners in order to please more people. While working in a hospital, nurses come in contact with many more patients than doctors do because a doctor may be attending to one or two patients while a nurse many be caring for that doctor’s patients and also a few other patients. Overall, the capabilities of doctors are more extensive, but the tasks nurses perform are more crucial to patient care and overall well-being. After meeting and talking with many different nurses and doctors for years, it is very apparent who is more important and much nicer-nurses.
ReplyDeleteThe importance of having good bedside manners and communication is not new to the medical department. The whole idea was created in the fourth century by the Greeks (Silverman, 2012). The Greeks followed a book that was called the Hippocratic Corpus, which was a book that addressed all the proper ways a physician should interact with his/her patient. In the book it says, “The physician ought also to be confidential, very chaste, sober, not a winebibber, and he ought to be fastidious in everything, for this is what the profession demands” (Silverman, 2012). The physicians “bible” also consisted of how one should dress, interact, and carry out the needs of a patient. After many years of following the Hippocratic Corpus, new ideas were created. In the 18th century, the importance of bedside manners were stressed more than ever. Since it was a new time period, many arguments occurred because everyone had a different belief as to how to communicate with a patient. These arguments resulted in the creation of the AMA, also known as the American Medical Association. Prior to this association, new doctors were not being properly taught anything that dealt with how to treat a patient. The AMA taught people working in the medical field proper and updated manners that was first taught by the Greeks (Silverman, 2012). In 1846, Nathan Smith Davis held a convention that would also help improve medical education. Since it was such a success, Isaac Hayes created a convention the following year in order to improve any necessary topics (Silverman, 2012). More often than not, patients are looked upon as if a disease defines who they are instead of the fact that they are human just like everyone else in the world.
The exordium of your introduction is the quote. Following that, the narratio seems to be from “Someone” until the partitio, which begins with “in order for all this to happen” until the end of the first paragraph. The rest of the introduction’s narratio can then be found in the entire second paragraph. I really enjoyed reading the narratio, as it really showed the transition of medicine over the years. I am really interested to see how you relate the rest of your paper to this transition! Additionally, the quote you used to get the attention of the reader relates, very specifically, to the topic you chose, which is essential in introducing the reader to topic, and then you successfully transition from the quote into the thesis. I am also interested to see how you argue the greater importance of nurses in medicine.
DeleteThe exordium is the opening sentence. The narratio begins with the second sentence until “in order for..” I believe your partitio starts with the “in order for..” but goes until “after meeting and talking..” I really like this topic and I believe it is a great topic for you because you want to be a nurse. You’re transition between each section was very good but I thought it was hard to distinguish the partitio.
DeleteYour quote was the exordium. The narratio encompasses the rest of the first paragraph until “in order for.” You had a lot of background information for this opening paragraph, which really helped explain what was going on. I am not aware of this topic at all, so that really helped me understand what exactly is going on.
Delete“An elderly woman sent home from the hospital develops a life-threatening infection because she doesn’t understand the warning signs listed in the discharge instructions. A man flummoxed by an intake form in a doctor’s office reflexively writes “no” to every question because he doesn’t understand what is being asked. A young mother pours a drug that is supposed to be taken by mouth into her baby’s ear, perforating the eardrum. And a man in his 70s preparing for his first colonoscopy uses a suppository as directed, but without first removing it from the foil packet.” (Boodman, 2011) These examples show how language has impacted the medical society in harming ways. Whether it be poor directions or complex words, society and medical personnel have not been on the same page. Something has to change.
ReplyDeleteThe language of medicine began in the 5th and 4th century in Greek. Hippocratic writings became the basis from where words were derived from and what they meant.
A scholar named Aulus Cornelius Celsus wrote an encyclopedic overview of medical knowledge based upon the Greek hippocratic writings. The book was called De Medicina, meaning “The Medicine.” Celsus was also fluent in Latin, which he used to make a translation, now calling the book, Cicero Medicorum. This translation took many years because the Greek language did not have many Latin word equivalents. Aulus translated the book by importing Greek grammatical endings, Latinizing Greek words, and creating imagery with anatomical terminology. This book was officially printed in 1478.
In the year 1802, the last known Latin medical document was created by William Herberden. This was called Commentarii. The era of national language was approaching fast. The last time doctors notes were written in Latin was 1852, after then it was all in English or a native language. The most popular national languages included German, French, Latin, English, and Italian. By a worldwide standpoint, English had become the most influential medical language. It is the language of choice at all international conferences. In modern times, parts or whole words are used from ordinary English around the world. Bypass, clearance, CT, AIDS, and many more words were created in English and are used worldwide on a daily basis. (Wulff, 2004) Through the components of medical literacy, communication skills, and universal health terms, proper hospital personnel language can be used to rid of medical misunderstandings.
Personally, I think that you delved too deeply into background information that didn’t really seem to be overly important to the argument at hand, especially the part about the mst popular language. I also didn’t really understand why you started new lines after things that were in the same paragraph. From a purely constructive point of view, I think you should cut the majority of information out and try to center around the topic more.
DeleteYour exordium is very clearly the opening quote and the narratio is definitely all of the background information you provide. I can’t clearly pick out the partitio. You established your stance on the issue with the words “something has to change,” which is kind of a thesis, but the very last sentence of your post is also thesis-ish. If that’s your intended thesis, I feel that it’s a little too vague. However, your topic is very interesting. Do you intend to continue your historical synopsis throughout the body of your paper? I was very much intrigued by what you had to say about the course of medical terminology throughout history. I do find it odd that you give such an extensive account of the history in your introduction, but who am I to judge?
DeleteYour exordium is the quote you used to start the essay. It was a great choice because it gave me an idea of what your paper was about. The narratio was clear because it was the extensive research of background information. I think, but I’m not sure, that the partitio is the last sentence. I’m really curious to see if you are going to tie in the historical information into your essay like Jarret mentioned, but if you do not I think it can serve as a background and nothing more.
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ReplyDeleteAll throughout history, people have communicated. Whether it be through cave paintings, clicks and whistles, gestures, or coherent languages, there has always been a way for one person to say something to another. But it is possible to propose that, somewhere along the line people starting talking too much. Using too many words to say something, when there is a much simpler way to convey an understanding. Speeches and homilies are long-winded, and unnecessarily so, because the orator is too incompetent to be concise. People value quantity over quantity. This all coagulates to make a society of oversharers, co-ruminators, and people who overall will not be quiet. There are scientific, emotional, social, and physical reasons to be conscious about how much you talk, and to make sure you are not talking too much. Scientifically, over talking can simulate hyperventilation and lead ultimately to tissue hypoxia in extreme cases. Emotionally, habitual co-ruminators could see more and more symptoms of anxiety and depression starting to surface due to their dwelling on the problem instead of solving it. Socially, talking too much and butting in weakens your stance in an argument and in an overall friend group. Physically, talking too loudly can lead to polyps, calluses, and small tears on the vocal chords, possibly requiring surgery.
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DeleteI see the exorcism in the first two sentences, and the narratio is the majority of the paragraph. I do not see the partitio. Possibly the last sentence? Well done overall.
DeleteBuzz buzz! A notification appears; a picture was liked, a post was shared, and someone new became part of the conversation. In recent years, social media has become much more prevalent in modern society. Whether it be more socially-centered platforms, such as Twitter or Instagram, or professional sites, such as LinkedIn, nearly every life is touched by social media in some way. It has been heavily scrutinized for damaging language, and it has generated a primarily negative connotation for people of older generations. This has led to the coining of the term “anti-social media”. In other words, people often worry that the progression of social media is leading to an introverted, socially lacking society which struggles to communicate ideas and opinions. While there are some setbacks and disadvantages to the use of social media, there are numerous benefits and substantial changes that have been created because of it. Along with the ability to distribute ideas freely, language barriers are more easily crossed than ever before. People with disabilities are making strides daily in the progression of handicapable technology. When faced with situations where they might struggle, new options and opportunities are presented that allow them to engage with people and feel less secluded. Amy Jo Martin, CEO of Digital Royalty, stated, “Social media is the ultimate equalizer. It gives a voice and a platform to anyone willing to engage.” While legislators and consumers alike may dislike many of its uses, social media continues to improve accessibility for people with disabilities.
ReplyDeleteIt appears to be that your exordium is the first sentence. The narratio is the rest of the paragraph. You did a great job with the background information. I do not see the partitio. If it is not in there, I think that if you put it in there, your introduction will be better. It will also help you with the refutacio later on.
DeleteIn my eyes, I believe the exordium is the first sentence and then maybe also your second sentence.? The third sentence until the end of the paragraph seems to be the narration. However, I also agree with Sami that there is no partitio, but I’m pretty sure you told me you wanted to put your partitio in your paper later on which is understandable.
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ReplyDeleteThe idea of censorship can be found way back in the world’s history. Around 400 BC, Socrates, a famous rhetor, received a death sentence. There was no crime committed. The only thing Socrates did was try to educate people. He simply offended the wrong person morally and politically by his teachings. His sentence was to drink poison. Censorship is used in many places all over the world such as Rome, China, Greece, and religious leaders. Censorship is the act of supervising, blocking, and deleting material that can be considered harmful. It leads people to see the act as a violation of the First Amendment. In today’s society, censorship is used all over. For example, books can be banned from school libraries for content such as religious ideas or offensive political satire. The keyword in the previous statement is “offensive”. Censoring is removing the offensive topics in speech. China, the Soviet Union is infamous for censorship in the 20th century. There have been many trials where censorship had been the main focus, but no conclusion had been made on them because of our right to freedom of speech. The whole idea of censoring is a controversy. It is seen in literature, social media, the internet, and the news. The internet, especially social media, should be monitored more closely as it can cause social, emotional, and physical harm for users.
ReplyDeleteI think the exordium would be the first sentence. The narratio would then be from “Around 400 B.C.” to “freedom of speech” since you introduced censorship, where it came from, and gave examples of it. The partitio would then be the last sentence, where you state your main argument. As for the analysis part, overall I thought it was good. One change I would suggest making is maybe trying to combine some sentences or ideas, some parts seemed a little choppy. Other than that, I thought it was pretty solid and I’m really excited to see how you argue this topic.
DeleteFootball: the very embodiment of American spirit. A sport that requires strength, grit, and discipline. Or should I say used to require. Football in itself is a language. And to the disappointment of many, that language is changing. With today’s main concern being safety, it seems as if the sport we see today is not truly football. The language of football should go back to how it used to be. The virtues that were once the core of the sport are now seemingly forgotten, but that does not mean they should stay that way.
ReplyDeleteIt appears that your exordium is the first sentence. The narratio appears to be, “The language of football should go back to how it used to be.” However, I’m not exactly sure where the background information can be found.
DeletePhysical therapy, which is the treatment of disease, injury, or deformity by physical methods such as massage, heat treatment, and exercise rather than by drugs or surgery, has such a great diversity of patients and incredible treating abilities. However, if a therapist said “The likelihood of a full and complete recovery is very very slim, but we still can just waste a couple months doing therapy anyways,” this is certainly not what a patient would like to hear from their therapist, right? There is no enthusiasm behind the therapist’s message, subsequently causing the patient to have a lack of motivation, which ultimately would mean poor results from the therapy. Motivational language is the most crucial part of physical therapy, dare I say more important than the therapist and the treatment methods, due to the potential results brought forth from subpar motivation and the affect it has on not only the patient themselves, but also the parents and caregivers who bring the patients to physical therapy and are responsible for their recovery process at home. A lack of motivation and communication brings a lack of good results, which benefits nobody.
ReplyDeleteExordium is your first sentence, your partitio is “Motivational language” to “the patients themselves,” and your narratio are your last sentences. I’m intersted in how physical therapists use this type of language to help. Your last sentence is a good concluding sentence.
DeleteFamous English novelist George Orwell wrote, “It is a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.” Those words could not be more poignant today, with countless protesters roaming the city streets shouting slander at religious groups, ethnicities, and anything they find distasteful. Crosses burn outside the homes of new African American neighbors, signaling that they are not welcome here. An American Flag burns only twenty feet from the funeral of a Navy Seal, carried by a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, who screams that the armed forces are a disgrace to America. This is hate speech. Abusive or threatening speech or writing that expresses prejudice against a particular group, especially on the basis of race, religion, or sexual orientation. Its intensity has reached such a point that colleges and universities across the country have demanded that this hate speech be suppressed. Campuses have, one by one, expressed their lack of patience for these racist, sexist, bigoted speakers by enforcing new rules preventing such hate. Notre Dame Law Review is even pushing the government to pass a new amendment to the Constitution, preventing such hate from persisting. Despite the clear drawbacks of this hate speech, both the conservative government and public argue that stopping hate speech is the exact opposite of the principle the United States was founded on, that all men are created equal. Hate speech is certainly bad, but outlawing it is worse. Preventing someone from speaking their mind, even if everyone else disagrees with them, is unconstitutional, immoral, and sends America down a path away from the ideal of freedom for all.
ReplyDeleteThe world is full of words and sayings that requires people to interpret and understand. This modern world that stretches from reading menus to social media is slowly growing away from the originals. Around the country, education directors, teachers, and parents are trying to minimize the exposure to old literature in the classroom. Classics such as Romeo and Juliet and the Iliad are being exchanged for literature that includes more modern words and phrases. This action is full of irony. Todays modern sayings are derived from these works. (Tumiel, 2017) The current languages of the world cannot exist without older versions of itself or combinations of languages. Language is a dish of yogurt with fruit. The basis of the snack is always the same but different kinds of fruits can be added or removed to form a new flavor. The old English language cannot be removed or else the snack is only yogurt. The hard and prestigious work done by translators is not receiving the gratitude it deserves. Professors, teachers, and scholars use their time and effort to help the new minds understand the lessons from old texts. The rich literature full of old societies and past mindsets is being replaced because it is too difficult. This difficulty has more benefits, such as increased brain activity and lessons of life, than disadvantages. Removing the requirement to study archaic texts is not benefiting students; rather, it is closing their minds to the past.
ReplyDeleteThe exordium starts with “the world is” and goes until “in the classroom.” The narratio is the rest of the paragraph except the two sentences of “professors, scholars.. “ to “than disadvantages” which is the partitio. I think this topic is very good and I agree with the argument you are starting.
DeleteSimple words and phrases are some of the hardest blows a person can receive both emotionally and socially, which lead to physical problems as well. Society continually degrades the importance of mental illness and mental health as a whole. The people of the earth do this just by the simple use of language. Mindlessness often comes into play when regarding someone who is disabled or mentally ill. People who are mindless often use phrases which they do not realize has a negative affect on another person. They believe that the words they are using only have one meaning, and as a result pay less attention to the detail of the hurt they put on another person. Humor, jokes, satire also can all negatively affect not only the mentally ill, but rather every person on this earth. Take a second to think, does mental illness just come out of nowhere? A simple answer to that question is no because every mental illness starts with something small that eventually leads to an emotional breakdown. The small things that lead to these breakdowns are the small words or chit chat of everyday people such as peers, teachers, bullies, and even parents. These small words later go on the affect people in ways they cannot even imagine. Individuals all around the world need to find new uses of words and phrases to bring happiness to people, rather than self-harm and violence. Schools need to educate their students as soon as possible about the importance of mental illness and the right language to use around everyone, not just the mentally ill, as they usually suffer in silence. If people can learn to use language in new ways they can cultivate mindfulness and thereby improve the mental health of whole societies.
ReplyDeleteYour exordium is clearly the first sentence. Your partitio is the last sentence, and it does a very good job of establishing your stance on your argument. Your narratio is everything in between those two sentences, and it gives just the right amount of background. I will say that your exordium could use some oomph and excitement, and your current exordium could easily contribute to the narratio if you would decide to add a new, more exciting exordium, but the current one gets the job done. Based on your introduction, it seems that your paper will provide very meaningful insight into why mindless use of language is so destructive, and I’d love to hear what you have to say.
DeleteYour exordium is your first sentence. The partitio is at the end at the paragraph. Your narratio is all the meat in the middle. I’m very interested in your topic and how you are going to approach it. I like how you gave general statements that you will most likely go over in your body paragrahs.
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